Episode rating: 8/10
Another strong episode in which Littlefinger's masterplan becomes clearer, Tyrion loses and then gains a champion, Sansa reflects on what she's lost and Daenerys gets laid. Dive in for detailed analysis interspersed with lots of pics and some lulz.
We catch up with Sansa and her reverie of snowy Winterfell in this episode. This enjoyable image almost made me want to cry out “WINTER IS COMING!”
Oberyn: “He killed my sister…he shouldn’t have lived this long.” | Tyrion: “If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place.” | Tyrion: “Every kind of filth down here except the filth I like”
Oberyn’s story (which he remembers a little too well) shows us how even at Tyrion’s birth, he was being persecuted by Cersei, defended by Jaime and watched over by Oberyn as an impartial defender. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose…
Tyrion’s trial by combat is symbolic of a continuing theme this season, of cosseted, venal and angry firstborns v honest and decent secondborns: Cersei and Clegane v Tyrion and Oberyn. We also have the Hound’s story about being tortured at the hands of his older brother.
For my money, I reckon Oberyn should find a way to poison Clegane but slowly, so Oberyn has a chance to beat him fair and square, but if he doesn’t, Clegane dies anyway. It may not be honourable, but Kings Landing doesn’t really have any rules. In this game of thrones, you win or you die. Plus I’d love to see the look on Tywin’s face.
“No balance any more…” | “They burned [my hut] down.” “Who were they?” “I stopped asking a while ago”
Dying man: “Dying is thirsty work” | Hound to Rorge: “Not having a good day, are you?”
The Hound & Arya - While Tywin is busy orchestrating machinations in Kings Landing, the provinces are burning. Literally. But did I see that right, the Hound wasting his water on a dying man? What has the world come to?! Anyway, the Hound won’t contend with fire even to fix his wound. “The Hound”? “The Bitch”, more like…afraid of a little fire?!
We had a reunion between Rorge (Arya’s previous captor) and Arya (“Didn’t you say you’d fuck me bloody with a stick?!”), which precipitated in a union of his heart and Arya’s Needle.
Brienne to Pod: “You’re not interesting enough to be offensive”.
Brienne & Podrick - Tantalisingly, we finally see BriPod on the trail of the Stark girls, which could, just could, result in something I’ve been having fantasies about (yes, really): Arya, Sansa, Brienne & Podrick in one place! However, this being Game of Thrones, that is probably too many good guys in one place and so either (a) they won’t meet or (b) atleast 2 of them will be dead before or shortly after they meet.
Vale of Arryn - One of the ‘ehrmagerds’ of the episode. I’d always thought of Littlefinger as a cool, calculating man, but his outrageous heaving-ho of Lysa seemed completely extemporaneous and barmy. I know Littlefinger only needed to marry Lysa to be called Lord of the Vale, but surely he should’ve waited atleast a year or so?!
In some ways, Baelish’s plans are beginning to look like genius – I did you guys the favour of writing all this down. See below (see longer version for a more detailed discussion).
Robyn: “I’ll be able to fly anybody we don’t like”
Sansa & Robyn - We also got to see what Sansa’s future would look like if she was married to Robyn, a loon reared by megaloon Lysa. Unless she can bring Robyn under control, she’ll be marrying mean ol’ Littlefinger. Now that’s a rock and a hard place.
Bronn on his new clothes: “…softer than a virgin’s thighs.”
Tyrion on fighting the Mountain: “Won’t that make for a good song?”
Tyrion & Bronn - Bronn’s bromance with Tyrion came to an abrupt but amicable end this week. Although Bronn’s argument for not fighting for Tyrion is perfectly sound, it feels a little too cold and calculated.
The shadow of an unseen person hangs over this particular scene: Cersei, a woman so profoundly broken, so venal, angry and ruthless, that just weeks after we’ve seen her raped by her own brother, we feel no sympathy towards her.
Cersei is probably the most complex character in Kings Landing: she pined for Robert Baratheon’s love but didn’t get it, she genuinely loves her children and yet her relationship with her brothers is a dysfunctional version of “kiss or kill”.
Night’s Watch: this is probably the most exigent of all the storylines, although we spend very little time here. Although the NW is the closest thing to a proper brotherhood in GoT, their leader, Ser Thorne, acts like a boob, as usual. He’s letting his pride dictate his actions, which is surely a suicide mission.
It looked to me like Yarwyck wanted to disagree with Thorne but was scared.
Anyway, I await with bated breath. Will somebody or something come to Castle Black’s rescue?
Daenerys: “They can live in my new world or die in their old one.”
OH JORAH! I’M SO SORRY. THIS IS WORSE THAN THE RED WEDDING.
In a move that shocked and saddened me, she decided to “bump uglies” with the nearest sexy young guy, Daario Naharis. Sometimes you just have to be around to get some. Anyway, don’t worry Jorah, he was just a booty call.
On a political front, she’s using her gruesome feats to serve as a warning – I imagine just the appearance of her envoys will cause opponents to run for the hills.
Melisandre storyline: a lot of boobiness and great interior decoration. Oh, and also, her religion is fake. Why explain this? Is this going to come back to bite her in the behind? Does Selyse want to bite her in the behind? She looked like she sort of wanted to. It’s tough seeing Melisandre brainwash everyone into accepting her, even getting Selyse to accept her as the “other woman”.
That’s all folks, but if you enjoyed this, don’t forget to check out the full version!