Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 8 - The Mountain and the Viper (TV SPOILERS)

Victory has to be earned

EPISODE RATING: 8/10 | IMPORTANCE IN SERIES ARC: 8/10

"SAY HER NAME!...YOU RAPED MY SISTER. YOU MURDERED HER. YOU KILLED HER CHILDREN!"

Valar morghulis. Oberyn and the Mountain sort out their differences, while Jorah and Daenerys don’t. Roose Bolton dismisses Bran as “unimportant…a cripple, a young boy”, while Lord Baelish later says “sickly little boys sometimes become powerful men”...hmm! Sansa plays the Game and bails out Baelish, while Grey Worm gets some boob and says "I love you, sorry about not having a ding dong" in the longest way possible. Game of Thrones is back and it's taking no prisoners. Oh, and yet another wild prediction from me. Dive in for the most intelligent and detailed Game of Thrones analysis you'll see on the interweb. (Read the first page for key points and the rest for more detailed stuff).

All in all, a good episode that doesn’t quite resolve the Castle Black or Tyrion storylines but gives us a massive centrepiece that people will debate for a while yet.

Winter is coming...[Game of Thrones Season 4 so far... (TV spoilers)] (updated 2nd June)

Season rating so far = 7.

Welcome to the Fourth Wall recap of Game of Thrones season 4, just in time for you to remind yourself where we are for the 8^th episode! First I’ll do a ‘key summary’ (below) and later I’ll post a character arc of all the major characters. Enjoy!

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 7 - Mockingbird (TV SPOILERS) FULL VERSION

Counting the cost

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 7 - Mockingbird (TV SPOILERS), SHORT VERSION

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 6 - The Laws of Gods & Men (TV SPOILERS)

Unbowed, unbent, unbroken

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 5 - "First of his name" (TV SPOILERS)

EPISODE RATING: 6/10 | IMPORTANCE IN SERIES ARC: 8/10

"Did ya learn to fight in a castle?!” | “He could be the first man in 50 years to sit on that throne and deserve it.”

Tommen gets his King on, Lady Arryn gets her kink on, Jon Snow gets his kill on and Arya gets, er, stomped on. Karl has a severe case of swordmouth. A couple of big events but otherwise another building block of an episode. Themes of the week are (a) the lives of Westeros’s women and (b) fighting dirty vs “waterdancing”. Plus a screwball theory from me about Daenerys Targaryen and Oberyn Martell joining forces (again, I haven’t read the books).

Name of the week: the Vale of Arryn’s “Bloody Gate” – the name says it all. Thou shalt not pass.

Pet theory: Martells + Targaryen link-up

I’m always fond of imagining the links between different members of GoT. Like what would happen if/when Daenerys met Aemon Targaryen (Night’s Watch)? He happens to be her grand uncle. However, that link-up doesn’t seem to have the firepower to change things. What does, however, is the link between Oberyn Martell and Daenerys Targaryen. Step forward Elia Targaryen née Martell…actually, she can’t, because the Mountain raped and killed her during Robert’s Rebellion. Oberyn has since been baying for Lannister blood. As she was a Targaryen, I can’t imagine Daenerys looking kindly upon that either. I know the Targaryens originally had some bad blood with the Martells, but the marriage should’ve ended that.

What if, just maybe, Daenerys assured him use of her army and dragons in return for some choice assassinations? Like, say, Tywin Lannister? Remember that the Red Viper is a master of poisons and he could surely do this. The only thing standing in his way would be the repercussions. But with Daenerys, her unsullied and dragons on his side, Oberyn would have all the courage and protection he needed (not that he’s particularly short of chutzpah anyway). He could be the Walder Frey in this Red Wedding, with Daenerys in Tywin’s role and Tywin in the Robb Stark role. Remember, you read it here first.

Main plot movements:

Lord Baelish – we discover that he is responsible for the act that really set off the entire story in the Game of Thrones.

Kings Landing/the Lannisters are close to being bust – Kings Landing and Casterly Rock have what you could call a cashflow problem, in that they have to keep paying interest but aren’t finding any new gold (or whatever it is they mine).

Daenerys putting Westeros-conquesting on hold – her previous conquests are sliding back into despotism and butchery, so she’s going back, to SORT IT OUT.

Night’s Watch + Jon Snow – Jon Snow is reunited with Ghost! Yes!! Also, the good guys have found the mutineers at Craster’s and butchered them all. Such heroes. Wait, who’s guarding Castle Black?

Bran et al – they’re free. And yeah, their scenes are still trippy and warg-y. Also, Locke + Hodor/Bran = broken neck for somebody.

Questions:

We’re still yet to see: Gendry, Osha/Rickon and Yara.

Why does Lysa wail like a banshee during sexytime?!

Why exactly did Baelish have Jon Arryn murdered?

It’s easy to caricature Game of Thrones (“GoT”) as torture-porn in a literal and figurative sense: the good guys keep getting deper and deeper into trouble while the bad guys rule. The good guy list was: Tyrion (jailed for a crime he didn’t commit), Ned & Robb Stark (dead), Jon Snow (getting there but with difficulty), Daenerys (doing fine) and Ser Davos (jailed but now free). Then look at the bad guys: Lannisters (ruling the roost), Freys and Boltons (controlling the North), Baelish (holed up in an impenetrable fortress with a Stark and an Arryn) and so on. So it was odd to see a typical deus ex machine moment when Jon Snow’s men declared battle at Craster’s Keep just as Karl was about to “hurt” a young girl in the way Cersei alluded to earlier. Sometimes, people deserve to have their faith rewarded (guess where that’s from), particularly if they’ve sat through 3.5 seasons of unfair butchery of good guys. Anyway, let’s get stuck in.

“He could be the first man in 50 years to sit on that throne and deserve it.”

Tumbleweed.

Cersei and Margaery – are we seeing an alliance? Compromise? What I do like about Margaery is her consummate professionalism. Because that’s what she is, a true pro. We very rarely see her true self, almost everything she’s said has been so disciplined and calm. It’s quite scary – she has a considerably cooler head than anyone in Kings Landing (relative to her duties, anyway).

On another note, we have another child king. Every time I hear “long may he reign”, I think…Joffrey died without doing even a couple of years!

Across the narrow sea

“I will not let those I have freed slide back into chains”

We get to see what seems to count as a strategy meeting with the Khaleesi, where she gets update with Westeros events. She seemed only somewhat interested to hear of Joffrey’s death, but more interestingly we heard some calculus of what she has to play with: about 10,000 soldiers (8,000 unsullied, 2,000 2^nd sons) and 93 ships (which can hold 100 each). Oh, and 2 dragons, although nobody seems to talk about them anymore. 

Ser Barristan and Daario Naharis sound like they want to invade Kings Landing now, but Jorah as usual is the real voice of reason, making the point that 10,000 soldiers might take KL but is nowhere near enough to take Westeros or defend KL against the Lannisters’ allies. However, Ser Barristan makes the good point that the other houses will side with whoever they think will win. Remember, dragons. Dragons will win. So all in all an impromptu invasion of Westeros doesn’t sound too bad, but again Ser Jorah makes a good point: the slaves liberated by Daenerys have become, er, unliberated. And some madcap pretender has made himself emperor in Astapor.

The look on Daenerys’s face when she turns away was tremendous: at once “tired of this shit, I wanna kill more slavers” and “dammit, I’m gonna have to be good, aren’t I?”. One of my biggest criticisms of this storyline is that, well, it’s not a storyline. It’s jujst one roaring success after another and acts as the antidote to the politics-heavy climate of Westeros, as Daenerys doesn’t need to compromise or play politics. She has dragons, in an age when nobody alive has seen a dragon. However, her storyline does have the only feelgood factor to it, so that’s something. Anyway, Ser Jorah looks pleased to have maintained his “closest advisor” role. Here’s hoping that Daenerys will stay in and take over Essos and leave that shitpile Westeros well behind. About time we saw her get down to the dirty business of ruling rather than simply winning.

Lord Baelish, Lysa Arryn & Sansa

Thanks for oversharing (Lysa Arryn as we remember her).

“Know your strengths, use them wisely and 1 man can be worth 10,000”

Right off the bat we should mention the significance of Lysa admitting she killed her husband John, for Petyr. You know what this means, don’t you? This, right here, is the steaming pile of extramarital turd that kickstarted everything in the Game of Thrones. Cast your minds back to season 1 – why did Ned Stark come to Kings Landing? Robert Baratheon was suspicious about John of Arryn’s death and wanted Ned, a man of Stark-integrity (and note how naturally his head rolls across the floor) to investigate. Turns out it was all orchestrated by Lord Baelish, and definitely NOT because he wanted to schtup Lysa into next week (those sounds will never leave Sansa’s head). It turns out, then, Lord Baelish is a considerably more deadly character than I gave him credit for…not only did he kill the Hand of the King, but also a King. For all of Tywin’s ruthlessness, Tyrion’s intellectual firepower and Robb Stark’s sheer Starkness, Lord Baelish was the one spinning the top in his hand. Simply staggering. Good ol’ GoT. Anyway, despite all that, Baelish has the look of a man who thinks he might’ve made a mistake.

Later, we get a girl-talk between Sansa and Lysa, culminating in a harrowing cross-examination (or “mindfuck” if you prefer) of Sansa by Lysa, particularly in relation to what Petyr may have done with Sansa. A recurring theme in the episode is the sad comment that a lot of a lady’s worth in those times was measured by what was between her legs. Anyway, Sansa perks up slightly when Lysa tells her she’ll be the Lady of the Vale…if she marries Robin, Lysa’s son (who is also a little off-kilter, mind).

Tywin & Cersei

Cersei doesn’t want to get married to the flower Knight (or whatever Ser Loras is called), in the same way Baelish doesn’t really want to get married to the Lady of Arryn. However, Cersei’s reason is considerably more legitimate (Ser Loras being a “pillow-biter” and all). Also, only a fortnight for the mourning of Joffrey? The Lannisters really are ruthless. Allow me to direct you to some choice lines from Tywin:

On Margaery and Tommen’s forthcoming wedding: [there should be] “…no 77 course meals”.

On Robert Baratheon: “He used to pat me on the back a lot. I didn’t trust him.”

On the Iron Bank of Braavos: “You can’t run from them…cheat them…sway them with excuses…”.

Tywin lets us in on some of the financial and industrial matters in Westeros: the mines aren’t producing any more mineral and the Lannisters owe a lot to the Iron Bank of Braavos. In season 1 we discovered that the crown itself owes half its debt to the Lannisters. So ultimately it all ends in a bank – what a surprise. Anyway, Tywin’s matchmaking is all a ploy to ensure that Lannister debt becomes Tyrell debt, and apparently, they’re quite rich.

As for the Iron Bank, this is the second time we’ve heard about them, the first being Ser Davos’s cunning plan (whatever it is). The Lannister empire seems to be built on debt, and Lannisters always repay their debts (whilst creating new ones). It was odd hearing Tywin sound quite resigned when talking about the Iron Bank, as a force that he cannot bend to his will. Normally, his hunger, killer instinct and pragmatism seem boundless, but here he was highly respectful, almost afraid of them. What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? Why, this Iron Bank reminds me of the single greatest force mankind has ever known – the international bond markets. They can bring entire countries to their knees in a matter of days, in a way that the US, China or the UN can’t even dream of. Anyway. I wonder if this will have any interaction with Ser Davos’s plan, whatever it is…

Hound and Arya

We’ve heard about how ruthless the Braavosi are about chasing down debt, another talent seems to be poncy fighting. The Hound makes a number of references to them being greasy with a gratuitous use of the c-word. Anyway, it’s a bit difficult to place these scenes anywhere except “coming of age”. Arya learns to fight for real rather than waterdancing and, basically, the truth of the pudding is in the eating: if you live and your enemy dies, your enemy probably isn’t the greatest fighter ever. Speaking of the greatest fighter in Westeros…

Oberyn Martell & Cersei

“What good is power if you can’t protect the ones you love?”

This is a purely dramatic segment, as Cersei gets to talk about the human tragedy of it all. Oh, and she gets to tug on Oberyn’s children-loving-heartstrings, as she knows he’s on the panel to judge Tyrion. Clever little fox. We get to hear about Myrcella for the first time in a while, as she’s now a ward of the Tyrells. The only other ward we know of is Theon, and he turned out ok, right?! The theme of women and their bodies continues here, as Oberyn assures Cersei that Dorne is nice to children, but Cersei replies: “Everywhere in the world, they hurt little girls”. Powerful stuff, particularly speaking to war crimes and rape in particular (remember Elia and The Mountain). Cersei’s mother died when she was four, so she’s felt loss personally. These two actually seem like an appropriate couple, unlike…

Brienne of Tarth and Podrick

We get some great buddy comedy and then a typical Game of Thrones revelation, from way back when: Podrick tells Brienne that he had to kill a Kingsguard in order to protect Tyrion. Now Brienne knows someone in power tried to kill Tyrion and eventually everyone will know. One thing about Westeros: no secrets ever get buried forever.

The North

“I saw you die tonight…I saw your body burn…I saw the snow fall and bury your bones”

My, 2 consecutive episodes in the North, Messrs Benioff and Weiss really are spoiling us! So, a lot happened here. We saw more vague but portentous future for Bran, with a red tree that looked like it belonged in some sort of 18^th century painting rather than GoT. I won’t speculate on this in depth but I suspect it may be related to the arrival of the Andals in Westeros. Or perhaps related to dragonglass, which they’ll use to fight the White Walkers?

Oh, excuse me. Sorry about this...

Craster’s Keep continues its licentious ways, with Karl getting ready to do some nasty things with Bran’s friends. However, for some reason, the time shift between Jon Snow saying “we move at sundown” and Karl’s scene seemed to have a time gap in between them, which seemed odd if not quite ‘wrong’. Anyway, we get a “just in the nick of time” intervention and Bran et al get away. We get literally a few feet away from the first reunion of two Starks for a long time, but in typical GoT fashion, we don’t get it. Apparently, we haven’t earned it yet – this would be a potentially significant moment. Also, Locke’s story ends abruptly, at the hands of Hodor. Atleast Jon Snow and Ghost get reunited! A special moment.

Jon Snow seems to suffer from the same problem as Arya in that he tries to fight pretty, while Karl fights pragmatically (a bit like Bronn, you might say). Anyway, help from a Craster widow saves his bacon. The motif of women, their bodies and their freedom comes along again as the women decide to take their chances on the road rather than go back to Castle Black (100 men and about 15 women? No chance). GoT seems to loosely model a medieval Europe, where women were traded, raped and used as commodities, and although it’s been shunted to the edges, it pops up every now and again. Like Lysa’s disgust at what the women do with their bodies at Littlefinger’s brothels. The women at the brothel seem relatively empowered. While the ones at Craster’s Keep have literally been used as objects, but ultimately the result is the same for all of them. Do you remember Roz? Remember how she died? In GoT, the tragedy isn’t always about swords and sandals.

AM

Boobs of thrones: None.

Violence of thrones: 8/10. Massacre at Craster's and a case of swordmouth.

Biggest movers: ran from 0 to 3, Daenerys from 7 to 7.5 and Vale of Arryn from 3 to 4.5.

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 4 - "Oathkeeper" (TV SPOILERS)

EPISODE RATING: 7/10 | IMPORTANCE IN SERIES ARC: 6/10

"I will answer injustice with justice!” | "I’ll call it Oathkeeper”

A decent episode that laid the groundwork for fireworks later in the story. Themes of the week are (1) what justice means to different characters and, duh, (2) the keeping of oaths. Lord Baelish’s new Irish accent is coming along nicely, while Cersei seems to have forgotten all about her, um, disagreement with Jaime in the previous episode, Tommen gets to feel the full force of Margaery and Daenerys spills some blood.

Welcome back (or hello if you're a first-timer). I’ll be writing a short, sweet ‘flash review’ of GoT episodes as soon as possible (same day if possible). Let’s go!

Dorky name of the week: “Ser Pounce”, Tommen’s cat. That boy has so much to learn from Margaery.

Main plot movements:

Locke infiltrating Night’s Watch – this is potentially very serious, since we’re being set up for a major fall even if Jon manages to find Bran. Particularly dangerous if House Stark is to be rebuilt by Bran (Arya and Sansa seem a bit less equipped to do this in terms of temperament…for now). On the other hand, could Locke turn good upon seeing Jon Snow’s own benevolent nature?

Bran being captured by bad boys of Night’s Watch (Craster’s Keep edition) – Bran again. I wouldn’t put it beyond Game of Thrones to kill a crippled young boy who is one of the very small number of truly good people on the show. We deserve to see his powers wreak havoc on the Lannisters and the Freys.

Daenerys winning Meereen – seems like the conquest era is over and the governing era is beginning. Will she be as good at ruling as she is at winning? Remember Tywin’s words from episode 3, describing Robert Baratheon’s particular brand of failure: “…a King who thought winning and ruling are the same thing”.

Baelish+Sansa and Arya+Hound heading for the Vale of Arryn + Brienne (and Pod) set off looking for Sansa – there is the potential for all these characters to meet in the Vale, and this being GoT, I'm scared for them...

Questions:

How and why did the slaves in Meereen write in English (“the common tongue”) on the walls?

Why does Cersei only seem slightly miffed at being raped by Jaime?

What exactly do the White Walkers want?

WHERE THE HELL ARE GENDRY, OSHA/RICKON and YARA?!

Game of Thrones draws in a lot of people who just want to see zombies or dragons, and ultimately that’s what goes on the ads. But I get the feeling that the show’s heart is really only in the human and political stories (particularly in Kings Landing), which although full of detestable characters, is painted with more care and colour than the rest of Westeros and Essos. This week, we saw a parable about how people care about keeping their promises and what happens when they don’t. Robb Stark didn’t keep his promise about marrying Walder Frey’s (ugly) daughter and paid for it with his life – not a result that seems proportional to the crime, but remember: in this game, you win or you die. Brienne made an oath to Catelyn, although for the above reason, Catelyn ended up dead. Jaime promised to return Sansa when he got back. Podrick swore an oath to Tyrion and turned down a Knighthood for it. Jon Snow swore an oath to the Night’s Watch and must now defend its existence…basically, a whole lot of oath-swearing going on.

[Imagine if Robb hadn’t broken his ‘oath’ to marry the Frey girl…Frey would never have turned against him for Tywin Lannister. With Robb Stark alive, House Stark would probably have wiped the floor with Tywin Lannister, even if the wily old dog would’ve found new ways to fight back. What this shows us is that events in GoT seem to turn on decisions that initially seem small, although in reality they form part of a big picture. A classic example of this are illegitimate offspring, produced by one night of passion, e.g. Gendry, the bastard who would be King.]

Anyway, on to the episode: we started off with the Targaryen girl. We finally get a more nuanced view of her world, which we've missed since the early days when she had nothing. We get to hear Grey Worm and Missandei's history. Then we get the usual Daenerys-taking-over-a-slave-city story but this time ending with an unusually vicious attempt at justice. Then we get back to more of Daenerys looking fabulous and pouting and posing on top of a building. Still kicking arse. Still no dragons though (are they on holiday or has GoT blown its special effects budget?!).

It's at this point that a potential Queen might stop to think whether it really is worth going all the way to the uncivilised lands of Westeros, when she has a great army, a loving people and (as someone pointed out to me recently) lots of hot dudes in her entourage. In fact, the charm of Valyria and the remains of the old Ghiscari Empire leave her with a lot to play with - she could build rebuild the old Valyrian empire. WHat's more, she could do it her way, without slaves [she's been quite lucky that all the people she's freed have wanted to work for her and none of them yelled "FREEEEEDOM!" as they flew out the door]. But no. Instead, she wants to 'reclaim' what is “rightfully” hers - for the simple reason that her father sat on the throne at some point...never mind that other people sat on that throne before and after, somehow it just belongs to the Targaryens. But no, Westeros it is, no matter how many slaveowners have to be crucified. As Cersei Lannister noted once, "Half the Targaryens went mad didn't they?... What's the saying? 'Every time a Targaryen is born the gods flip a coin'." Cersei would know about madness.

"You gonna fight for him now?"

Meanwhile in Westeros, we’re seeing more of Jaime, whose character arc is completely barmy. He went from Kingslayer to incestuous, preening bumhole to  Bran-crippler to desperate captive of the Starks to buddy-caper guy with Brienne to own-sister-rapist to possible saviour of Tyrion. It looks like Tyrion finally has an ally with some real power (Bronn is sort of useless outside a fight).

In our Bronn/Jaime bromance, Bronn essentially guilts Jaime into going to see Tyrion and performing the role of 'knight in shining armour'. By the way, remember Bronn's line from earlier in the season about becoming a Knight by "killing the right people"? Well, with Jaime, he's face to face with a man who killed a King, which surely ranks at the very top of that game. GoT is full of little parallels like this, which serve to add to the richness of the story. It's hard to imagine that Jaime is the same man who is responsible for Bran not being able to walk (although was the fall what helped him become a warg?). In some cruel irony, Jaime crippled Bran and is now a "cripple" himself (in his own words). Now that this particular inequity has been evened out, Jaime is suddenly a good man with a mean streak. 

Podrick looks forward to 'squiring' Brienne.

"What're you waitin' for, a kiss?!"

In developments that could have potentially significant repercussions, Podrick and Brienne are off to go looking for Sansa, as per Jaime's promise to Catelyn. By the way, did you see the look on Podrick's face? I can't imagine what it is he thinks he'll be doing with Brienne on their odyssey. Anyway, Jaime remains one of the few game-changing characters in GoT because if the game in Kings Landing was to change dramatically, he seems best placed for it - a Lannister, on the inside, with a big heart and a bigger reputation. I think his story will be most interesting. Anyway, like Tyrion, he had to ship his true love off for reasons bigger than them both - in this case, to go find and protect Sansa and because Cersei is gunning for Brienne. On another note, Cersei doesn't seem too upset about her rape. I think this storyline is a misstep for the show, as it's not clear that (a) they understand that we all thought it was a rape and (b) it's not acceptable for Jaime and Cersei to just go back to normal after that. Even GoT doesn't get away with that.

“You don’t think I’d let you marry that beast, do you?”

Speaking of Cersei and Jaime, we finally get told (not shown, mind) who killed their son. Olenna 'fesses up to having Joffrey killed, casually throwing in a reference to Margaery’s necklace as well. My detective work had thrown her at the top of the table so perhaps I should be gloating…but actually, it feels odd, because this explosive fact is revealed almost as an afterthought (a lot of people will say they'd guessed, but the players in the GoT still have no idea). I was expecting scenes of commoners talking about the King’s death (nope), main characters speculating on whom it may be (not really) or Tywin doing a tour of KL trying to find out (nope, although we got some last week). 

We also get an obligatory Margaery-and-Olenna-Tyrrell-in-the-garden (your city is called Highgarden, ok, we get it) scene. Lady Olenna also recounts a bawdy tale about her pre-marital sexscapade with Luthor Tyrell, although I’m having trouble understanding what exactly went on between them such that Luthor was the one having trouble walking the next day. My head’s saying “don’t go there” but my heart is saying “hmm?!”… 

Olenna Tyrell: "He couldn't walk for days afterwards"

“I’m Brandon Stark of Winterfell!”
The Starks just couldn't BUY themselves any luck, could they? Bran stumbles upon the crazed former-Brothers of the Night’s Watch and is basically captive along with his entourage. After last week’s strange rape-that-was-meant-to-be-somewhat-consensual, we have an orgy of rape again, and I’m told this was not in the books. HBO appears to have a contractual boobiness quota and is sure as hell trying to meet it. Craster’s Keep has a new resident psychopath - Karl Tanner, an utterly insane former Brother, drinking from Mormont’s skull who, let's be honest, couldn't give less of a damn about anyone or anything.

Also up North, we get Jon's plan to get to Craster's Keep and subdue the mutineers (before they give away any info about Castle Black) is in motion, but with Roose Bolton's henchman Locke in tow. The internal politics of Castle Black mean that Jon Snow is safe for now because of his popularity, but Ser Alliser is trying to find a way to get rid of him. We'll find out if Jon Snow really does know nothing on the trip to Craster's Keep.

Playing with the big girls now.

Then we get a short sequence with the White Walkers converting more babies into WWs in order to…bolster their baby army?! Not much to say here for now, except the visuals were mediocre, with the borrowing of some lo-fi Walking Dead extra.

Boop

In amongst all this, we also have some nonsense from Baelish about not having a motive and so being safe from being discovered. His only chance of safety is to hole up in the Vale, methinks. We also have Margaery nearly getting Tommen to soil his pants, whilst stroking Ser Pounce the cat (as if this show lacked symbolism). Overall a reasonably good episode but not enough plot movement for my liking. Next week I suspect we’ll be back with Arya, Theon, Tywin, Stanns and Ygritte.

-*-

AM

Boobs of thrones: Unpleasant scenes in Craster's Keep with non-consensual nudity.

Violence of thrones: 8/10. No-one dies in Westeros but plenty of torture and crucifixion across the Narrow Sea.

Up movers: Tyrion and Daenerys

Game of Thrones Season 4 Episode 3 - "Breaker of chains" (TV SPOILERS)

EPISODE RATING: 6/10 | IMPORTANCE IN SERIES ARC: 6/10

"Dead men don't need silver!”

A decent episode and bags of fun - some good development but also a couple of weak and pointless storylines. Theme of the week is that weak men must die. Episode included Jaime the raper, the return of Lord Baelish, Daenery's final conquest of slave cities, the education of Tommen Lannister and a lot more.

Welcome back (or hello if you're a first-timer). I’ll be writing a short, sweet ‘flash review’ of GoT episodes as soon as possible (same day if possible). Here’s a few features, skip down for the review.

1.       There will be spoilers for the episode, but not the books. Mostly because I can’t be bothered reading 5,000 pages of fiction and certainly not if there isn’t an exam at the end of it. This is why we invented TV (this and good grammar is what separates us from the monkeys).

2.       There will be a power chart (see below), where we track how the players’ power is evolving. [I’ll try to guess ‘potential power’ as well as current power, if that potential is very real.]

3.       There will be a count of “Boobs of Thrones” and “Violence of Thrones”. This isn’t as sinister as it sounds, just keeping track.

Dickhead of the week: Lord Baelish, for rewarding a man for his caring and hard work with a crossbow  shot (even if that man did lie a bit).

Overall impression of the episode: we now have real momentum and forward movement in plot terms. We got the usual Targaryen show of power (it's just too easy for her, isn't it?), the witchhunt/aftermath of Joffrey's death, a mysterious person trying to frame Tyrion and  lots of obligatory nudity around the Martells. However, the area that hots up the most is perhaps much further North, at Castle Black. The wildling army is almost upon our 'unsullied' watchers and it's 10,000+ against about 100 (including The Blind Targaryen).

Questions:

1. What happened to the bastard Gendry? Maybe he's in Dorne, where they like bastards.
2. What happened to Theon's sister, Yara? Wasn't she looking for him?

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Americans often amuse themselves by telling stories about their heritage, real or apocryphal. Have you heard the one about the difference between "lace-curtain Irish" and "shanty Irish"? No, not "lace curtain Irish came to America in a cabin on a ship, shanty Irish got locked below decks", but "lace curtain move their dirty dishes out of the way before they piss in the kitchen sink". Well, Game of Thrones is NOT lace-curtain. This is why, this week, we were treated to the spectacle of Jaime Lannister, one-handed head of the Kingsguard, raping his sister and mother of his three children next to the murdered body of one of said children.

According to Alex Graves, the Director, this ended as 'consensual' by the end (www.blogs.indiewire.com/womenandhollywood/rape-culture-sidetracks-game-of-thrones). This reminds me of Straw Dogs, Sam Peckinpah's 1971 film, which played a rape scene where the victim is shown 'enjoying' it near the end, which was also a play on the victim's husband's impotence subplot. Anyway, I do not approve this message - it didn't move the story on and made me feel slightly queasy, partly because I realised I wasn't that shocked by it. I mean, it's GoT. The other reason why this is immensely problematic is because we were just coming round to Jaime being a decent human being, rather than an swaggering, incestuous dirtbag. We're either meant to infer that this is the result of grief, or simply accept it as Jaime at his worst. It doesn't make sense. Anyway, I'll come back to this later, so we can follow chronologically.

Baelish: "He's a drunk and a fool."

More interestingly, we get to see the aftermath of Joffrey's death from Sansa and Lord Baelish's point of view.  Before I go any further, what the hell has happened to Baelish's voice and accent?! He seems to have gone somewhere from his existing accent to the one he sported in The Wire. As for his voice, it sounds like he's doing an intentionally bad Bond villain! The change from previous seasons is very noticeable.

Anyway, you may remember that as soon as Joffrey was declared dead, Sansa was whisked away by Ser Dentafloss Dontos, which makes me think that Ser knew more than everybody else (although it was clear at that point that Joffrey was dead). So there is a good chance that the next character we saw was involved in this plot: Lord Baelish. I've been told that he has a much more prominent role in the books and the whispering and rumour-mongering campaign led by him is more front-and-centre, while in GoT he's been relatively quiet. Here though, he's in fine form as a ruthless but suave power-player. Anyway, the whole necklace story by Ser Dontos was fabricated - turns out this is Sansa's coming-of-age moment.

Two key scenes about Baelish for me are (1) the Sherlockian game Tyrion played in Season 2 where he told different stories to different characters about the same incident, in confidence, and saw who was snitching: Baelish was the first to snitch (2) Baelish gave Cersei a sermon about how knowledge is power, but then Cersei had her guards point their daggers at him, saying "no, POWER is power". Baelish has always been the outsider with something to prove. He thinks by marrying Lady Sansa (who is less than half his age, and certainly well under 18, but whatever), he may get some shred of respectability (whether he'll actually enjoy that is another matter). I suspect he won't have moral trouble with 'consummating his marriage' with a child, unlike good ol' Tyrion.

Credit: HBO

We then get one of my favourite scenes of the episode, in which Olenna Tyrell tells Margaery how it is, when Margaery frets about her husbands have a habit of biting the dust during or shortly after getting married.

Olenna: "Nonsense, your circumstances have improved markedly. You may not have enjoyed watching him die, but you enjoyed it more than you would've enjoyed being married to him, I promise you that."
Margaery: "But I would've been the Queen!"
Olenna: "Our alliance with the Lannisters is as important to them as it is unpleasant for us. You did wonderful work with Joffrey. The next one will be easier."

I'll let a younger Charles Dance (Tywin) make my feelings clear (reactionimages.tumblr.com).

I've said it before and I'll say it again - Olenna Tyrell got game. It's beginning to seem like she definitely had something to do with Joffrey's murder. It's funny how she treats her grandchild as a pawn in her game, a bit like how Tywin uses his children. However, Margaery isn't some innocent fool and almost certainly did not care about Renly or Joffrey.

Then we get to see the most dysfunctional family in the GoT universe - the Lannisters. Furthermore, the death of Joffrey has had devastating consequences: some quietly devastating, and some loudly devastating. For some reason, Tywin starts grooming Tommen to be the next King right next to Joffrey's body, even though it's barely gone cold. Tywin's lack of compassion is quite staggering, but as I've noted, he's a very pragmatic man. Having said this, I find it hard to believe he'd carry on like that right next to the body. A pragmatic man would've had the conversation with Tommen elsewhere, given that Cersei was radiating fury and loathing in the same room. Tywin quizzes Tommen on what makes a good King (I guessed "judgement"...that's the same, right?), and Tommen gets it pretty quickly...for a 12 year old, anyway.

Cersei's eyes suddenly dart towards him, either because she thinks Tywin's getting a grip on him already, or because she thinks he's smarter than Tywin. Or will be eventually. The supreme irony in this would be if Tywin orchestrated Joffrey's murder in order to elevate the more malleable Tommen, just for Tommen to outgrow Tywin and kill him, or worse, give him a crap job. Anyway, it's at this point that some of us must be thinking: where is the bastard Gendry? Wouldn't he be true heir to Robert Baratheon? I wonder if and when we'll find out.

The Hound: "He's weak and will be dead come winter!"

Then we had another weak storyline: Arya, the Hound finding and then robbing a nice father-and-daughter family who give them food and shelter. I wasn't sure what the point of this was - was it to show that she still had some love left for innocent people? I thought we'd established that she was still basically good and so was the Hound, but with considerably rougher edges. Or was it to show that nice people don't last long, like we've been seeing in GoT throughout the last 4 seasons? Yawn.

Tarly: "They all think you're just a wildling!"

Speaking of incest...we catch up with Samwell Tarly, Gilly and inbred baby (handsome though he is). This feels like a completely futile storyline, although they're not annoying as such. Plus it's good to spend some time with ordinary people rather than pretenders to the throne. Anyway, Sam tries to ship Gilly off to a nearby town to protect her, although clearly putting her in the hands of dangerous people.

Stannis: "If I do not press my claim, my claim will be forgotten. I will not become a page in someone else's history book."

Stannis continues to have an epic sense of entitlement, like Daenerys and all the other pretenders. Apparently because one of his ancestors killed the right people, he deserves to be King too. However, his story is quite tragic - it would appear that Stannis's army is all but destroyed, he has very little food and only magic to go on. In fact, I'd be willing to bet the less food they have, the more people believe in magic. Ser Davos has brought him nothing after months of work. And then suddenly, reading about pirates, he gets an idea about how to get some gold, with the Iron Bank of Braavos. It's hard to properly engage with this storyline as it's quite isolated. How does this affect Westeros in any way? Also, why hasn't Melisandre tried something outrageous with her magic? Killed Tywin, perhaps?

Then we get a pointless nudie scene with the Martells, where Oberyn says something like "make sure you've had as much sex as possible by the time your body gets saggy". Real sage advice. Tywin then bursts in and basically accuses Martell of trying to kill Joffrey.

In amongst all this is the implication that Tywin doesn't think Tyrion didn't kill Joffrey and so is on the hunt. If it's not Tywin himself, I suspect he'll make sure the killer is captured - not because he cared about Joffrey, of course, but because they cannot be seen to allow a Lannister-killer to live free...a Lannister always pays his debts. Then we get a war crimes allegory about soldiers committing rape and murder during war, without their superiors' knowledge. Oberyn wants revenge for his sister Elia's rape and murder by The Mountain, one of the most unpleasant characters in GoT (http://gameofthrones.wikia.com/wiki/Gregor_Clegane). Tywin offers Oberyn a position on the small council, which will allow us to see Oberyn as a character rather than just a wild sexual creature. In return for Oberyn sitting in on the trial and the small Council, Tywin will provide an audience with The Mountain, although how that will end in anything other than the Mountain's death is a mystery to me. The Red Viper does not make empty threats (he hasn't actually made one yet but he will). I suspect Tywin will come to regret all this, although he has managed to give the trial legitimacy by having an outsider sit on it.

Tyrion: "I will not have you die on my behalf!"
Tyrion's storyline has suddenly come to a halt, understandably on account of his incarceration. Fortunately, he might be able to call upon Jaime, who cannot seriously believe Tyrion was behind this, particularly after their cute little bonding session over food and Bronn, in episode 2. Also, Oberyn sitting in on the trial surely improves Tyrion's chances. Oberyn is temperamental and angry, but he's a man with a code, unlike Tywin or Baelish. Tyrion is ultimately the key to Kings Landing and so it's important for GoT to keep him reasonably safe. Killing him off would be a huge mistake, in my opinion. The death of Robb Stark nobbled the narrative in the North, but this would be worse. However, there's another dark cloud - some mysterious man has been trying to isolate Tyrion through Podrick. Stay tuned.

We get a brief scene showing some real brutality from Ygritte and the rest of the wildlings. Just when we'd come to like Ygritte, she goes and shows her true wildling colours! She must be angrier still, given Jon Snow's betrayal.

"Thought you'd have blue eyes by now"
The Northern story just got interesting - a set of mutinying Brothers of the Night's Watch know how many Brothers are at Castle Black and if Mance Rayder finds out, Castle Black will be laid to waste. It's interesting to note how events at Craster's Keep are coming back to haunt Castle Black. On another note, I'm amazed there's no more word on the White Walkers.

Finally, we come to that Targaryen girl in the East. Although it's bags of fun, this segment of GoT is also slightly troubling, for many reasons. And I'm not even going to go into why the slaves are dark skinned and the leaders white and blonde (e.g. Jorah and Daenerys). But anyway, all I could think of in Daenerys scene is "she should have been the one to take a piss". I didn't understand why she made that long speech when all she really needed to say was:

Credit: HBO. And me.

Ok, so she has dragons and liberates slaves. Something's not right - how can a decent human being prosper in Game of Thrones? In my humble opinion, this part of GoT is the weakest because it's basically wish fulfilment - she's good but doesn't pay for it and she does what she wants, when she wants. Her narrative so far has basically been "some hardship, naive ambition, dragons, nomads taking over slave cities". The narrative is quite stop-start with little character and plot development. We know that her army will be strongly loyal and not just working for her for money, but because she liberated them. This is some character development but simply doesn't give us the kind of depth that we get with the Westerosians. Admittedly, most of Westeros's characters are rooted to their kingdoms and so their rhythm is different, while Daenerys is building her kingdom and running a lot of shoe leather in doing so.

She has a motley crew of exiles, ex-slaves and of course, dragons. Unlike those in Kings Landing, she hasn't had to make any hard choices recently, although she hasn't had what we'd consider an easy life. Therefore, there's less to discuss with her, except how cool she is. Daenerys is an internet sensation and a fan favourite. I think of her as a counterbalance to the depravity and pessimism of Westeros, where all good men die and bad men rule. Interestingly, she calls herself "Stormborn", not "Targaryen". Let us remember why:

"No squall could frighten Dany, though. Daenerys Stormborn, she was called, for she had come howling into the world on distant Dragonstone as the greatest storm in the memory of Westeros howled outside, a storm so fierce that it ripped gargoyles from the castle walls and smashed her father’s fleet to kindling."
-A Song of Ice and Fire: A Storm of Swords.

Let us remember what Jorah said about her:

"You have a good claim: a title, a birthright. But you have something more than that: you may cover it up and deny it, but you have a gentle heart. You would be not only respected and feared, you would be loved. Someone who can rule and should rule. Centuries come and go without a person like that coming into the world. There are times that I look at you, and I still can't believe you're real."

Aww! So he was a little bit heartbroken when upon seeing Meerenden's pissing contest, Daenerys declines his offer:

Credit: www.makewayforthepassenger.tumblr.com.

Anyway, with that, we've got things set up nicely for the next in these stories, although this won't happen till atleast episode 5 or 7. We've got a conflict at Castle Black, Daenerys finally forming what must be a fairly large army by now, Ser Davos's genius plan to get Stannis back in the game and much, much more. Plus surely a major face-off between Oberyn Martell and The Mountain!

AM

Boobs of thrones: 3 pairs of boobs, 1 pair of nackers and untold amounts of bum.

Margery Tyrell sideboob: Still at 1.

Violence of thrones: 8/10. A knife in the mouth of a horse, a slashing of a Meerenden 'champion', a beating of an innocent and weak father and a crossbow at point-blank range on the seas for a former Knight. Phew.

Big 'up' movers: Daenerys (0.5), Sansa (1) and Tommen (2) & Martells (2).